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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Collapse!



Jack gets to sleep in my room right now...when he is not sleeping with his pet boy, my son Robert! Well, actually I guess I am sleeping in his room.





Faith, who gets to sleep with me for the moment...


Yesterday I collapsed. I have been grappling with MRSA since June and, along with the other injuries and etc. I apparently reached a physical tipping point. I have slept or been barely cognizant for something like 31 of the last 36 hours or so. I am back to strict bedrest now and am typing with a laptop on my, well, lap. I feel pretty weak but will try to stay awake for four or five hours and then allow myself to crash out again.




I am of little use to my family or my work or anybody right now. 21 years of taking doctor-prescribed narcotics, three near-death accidents and now months of imposed sedentary living with lots of pain and little sleep just all piled up. Once I said, I give up, and allowed myself to truly rest I found I could sleep more than four or five hours at a time. I was worried about work, about duties around the home but now I am not. I am giving my body a chance to rest and heal.




Even now I feel so weak that it is a chore to write these words. I am not eating much. I am sometimes watching TV or perusing websites on this laptop but mostly just laying here on this bed that becomes a recliner. My dog, Faith, loves this because she gets to sleep with me when I am down here and my dog, Jack, lays down on his bed close to my feet. My fabulous wife doesn't sleep well if she doesn't hear me snore, but when I am not there she is not worried about hearing me and she probably sleeps better, too. Yes, IAMB, we are most definitely dog people. I hope you figure out a way to slice-and-dice the dreaded MRSA and receive a lifetime of grants in the process.




Maybe IAMB can find a cure for MRSA and Highboy will pray for me and God will allow me to heal if I allow God to let me rest. I have been fighting this rest. Apparently I must submit to it. I may not do much until after Thanksgiving, but if that is what it takes then so be it. I have been a grey man pushing a grey rock up a grey hill and making no progress. Serious depression waits at the end of that road.




No, Josh Hartnett never responded to me. He is also not Dr. Safarti. I cannot blame Jonathan Safarti for Hartnett's math notational skills. I have also pointed out that, despite the error in the way Hartnett posted his equation the math actually worked. It was like a sentence with bad grammar that still stated a truth...or an error...clearly.




The teacher did not seem to actually look to deeply into what her student gave her in response but instead gave uninformed and robotic replies, as I will show when I feel better.




Just between you and me, I am always so full of something (information? BS? stories? You guys and others have differing opinions) that writing is often easier than doing anything else. So I will write some things as we go on. I know I am a big mouth. I make a living that way (when I am healthy) and my friends like me that way. I love dogs and people and God, of course, and I tell the truth the way I see it. Disagree with me or not. I prefer to tell you what I REALLY THINK and get the same in return.




The replies to SDI so far deserve more thorough responses as I feel better.




As to those who wonder why I am having so many physical challenges, all I can say is I am not paralyzed (well, just a little) nor mentally deranged (in my opinion) and I am certainly not dead. I admire people who fight against more than I do and still succceed.




It may be that all I need to do is have one long thorough rest to take the momentum back from MRSA and be able to exercise and work and even have fun again.




I share this because to some extent you who read and comment here are my friends in a virtual way. I do not do trackbacks and stuff to get more readership but I do appreciate those who say something back. Yes, even you, cranky and lava and taxandrian! Because some of you have scolded me and been scolded back over the course of time, we have an oddball relationship and if I found that you were sick I would be concerned and pray for you. So I tell all this to you guys so you know what is up.




Finally, since writing is much easier for me than most things I will likely begin posting on the SDI questions within a day or two even if I don't do much of anything else. So I will see you guys around...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Radar,

I'm fairly sure I've said this before, but get your priorities straight: health before blogging.

Sincerely hope you get well, best to you and your family.

-- creeper

Anonymous said...

"Josh Hartnett never responded to me. He is also not Dr. Safarti."

He is also not John Hartnett.

-- creeper

IAMB said...

Hey man... hope you kick this thing one of these days. Nothing fun about infections that just won't go away.

I'll keep working on the Staph thing for as long as I can keep it funded. In the meantime, there may be some light at the end of the tunnel with a group of researchers taking a totally new approach toward microbial infections. I'll keep you posted either here or by email if anything useful comes out of it.

Take care.

Taxandrian said...

Radar,

Sorry to hear about your condition...may you swiftly recover.

And...like creeper said: health is far more important than blogging!

Anonymous said...

Health update? Hope you're recovering.

-- creeper

radar said...

I found I could work for a couple of hours and then lie down for a couple of hours and get by. Being weakened, I can catch every cold that passes by. I am just recuperating from a very bad cold that made things much worse for me.

Looks like I can work a little more next week.

I will be blogging this week from my laptop.

Happy Thanksgiving to all...my prayers go out to all those with endangered loved ones in Mumbai...

Mark K. Sprengel said...

You better take care of yourself. I need my best man!

Keeping you in prayer.

Anonymous said...

It has been a while. Hope all is well.

lava