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Monday, February 13, 2006

Welcome to Algorica

Travelers entering San Francisco on California 101 and Interstate 5 will soon be greeted by new signs: Welcome to Algorica!

Press Secretary Yeta Nother Alioto announced today that San Francisco has indeed seceded from the United States and is now an independent entity.

"San Francisco has seceded today from the United States of America. We will henceforth be known as the Progressive Republic of Algorica. At the present time our national boundaries coincide with the city limits of the City of San Francisco but we expect to include Marin county within a few days and further expansion may be expected.

The President in situ, The honorable Al Gore, will be arriving from Saudi Arabia shortly where he has been establishing diplomatic relations. Regular elections are scheduled for the year 2008, the year that President Gore would have been expecting to relinquish another office that was denied him by a radical conservative court.

President Jimmy Carter has agreed to be our Supreme Court Chief Justice. We will begin with one justice and expand as the need arises. We are confident that President Carter's good judgement and bold integrity will suffice for us at present.

We the people of Algorica have grown weary of being attached to a nation of warlike inconsiderate flyover backwards hayseed religious nutso neocon stupid illiterate smelly Americans! We no longer wish to contribute to your World Police, nor your BushchimpHitler totalitarian government. Once our offer to help begin the impeachment process against the Evil Bush was turned aside, we knew we had passed the point of no return.

We can ease the housing shortage and spiraling birth rates by encouraging our breeder population to emulate a gay/lesbian lifestyle. We can increase cash flow by being a foreign government. This means we keep our money and the United States sends millions of dollars our way. The vast majority of San Franciscans can adopt a work-free lifestyle and receive a stipend for living with the money received from the US Government. Crime will drop precipitously when we decriminalize the legal codes. This means we can fire most of our radically right-wing police force.

Diplomatic relations with China have already been established and both North Korea and France have sent emissaries today. The Republic of NAMBLA has already recognized us as a nation. We are awaiting word as to either Gary Busey or Billy Zane will consent to the post of Secretary of Defense. The head of the State Department will, of course, be former US Attorney General Ramsey Clark as soon as his notice is received and accepted by his current employer."

In other news.....
Blue Star Chronicles has Monday Linkfest

Photo views of Algorica residents....

6 comments:

oriolebird38 said...

That stopped being funny and just got downright offensive around the 6th or 7th paragraph. I'm not offended easily, but the gay-bashing was completely uncalled for. C'mon Radar, you're better than that.

radar said...

Fair enough, it sounds bad. However, I have walked through part of the "gay section" of San Francisco with a female and been threatened verbally and called a "breeder" although I was simply minding my own business, taking a stroll. We learned to avoid that area in the future.

I believe the radical element in San Francisco is completely over the top. I will insert a link that illustrates this a bit.

cranky old fart said...

Radar,

Most any "radical element" is over the top, by definition.

Algoica actually sounded like a great place until maybe the last paragraph. Unfortunately, I'm currently stuck in Bushworld.

oriolebird38 said...

Yeah cranky has a point. Did you say I could stop working and live comfortably off the government? It's a liberal's dream!

augurwell said...

Well that's just gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that. Nooo...)

But these Peacenix are worse, forever prolonging the suffering of the world.

Wankers

radar said...

Heh heh heh heh.....he said WANKERS!!!!