skinny chicks rule the world!!!
Downstairs in the family room, the twenty-one year old son, Dave, and his twenty-one year old friend had begun watching "Aeon Flux". I strolled down to join my wife, who stood staring at the screen. Two young skinny actresses (one being Charlize Theron) were flipping and flying towards some kind of cartoon-nightmare of a fortress that was protected by the kind of plants you only saw in acid trips, the kind that shoot to kill.
"At least it's plausible" I deadpanned. My wife and Dave's friend laughed. Dave attempted to ignore me entirely.
Why are so many Hollywood movies about skinny young actress chicks that beat up the world? I mean, of course everyone wants to look at Jessica Alba and Keira Knightley and Jennifer Garner and so on, but how is it so many of them are kicking butt? It doesn't make sense.
Once we had Rambo and Terminator and Chuck Norris to do our wet work for us. Big, strong tough guys are what is needed to beat up the villians and save the world. Yet in recent years we get Supermodel, not Superman.
Maybe I understand it, though. Hollywood is absolutely dominated with liberals. Some of them make your average Democrat look like Bill Frist in comparison. Barbra Streisand? I think they replaced her brain with that of a Parrot that used to belong to George Soros. Che Guevera isn't just on T-Shirts in this crowd, their wives are in a back room trying to channel him. I think Martin Sheen thought he really WAS President for awhile and had a hard time understanding why we were still in Iraq. Cindy Sheehan. Jane Fonda. Susan Sarandon. Who really cares what THEY think?
So even though recounts proved that Bush won in 2000, these guys are in denial. They have been angry and getting more and more unbalanced ever since. Yet there is nothing they can do about it. George Bush is President until 2008 and unless the Democrats find a message and some common sense and step away from the loony fringe it will be another Republican administration in 2009.
Helpless, Hollywood symbolically fights back. The skinny actress is the Liberal Democrat, apparently impotent but (in the eyes of liberals) beautiful. The big bad bullies are the Republicans led by Bush and all those horrid "Flyover Territory" people who don't know what is good for them and keep voting in more Republicans. Personifying the liberal dream, the skinny actress beats up all the baddies and wins the day! Hurrah! Nancy Pelosi for President!!!
Then they all file out of the screening room, make small talk about who has the most incompetent illegal alien gardener and then filter out to their waiting limosines. The "Skinny Chick" movie is released world-wide, males of all ages shell out the cash to stare at Keira's bod and dig the cool effects, and another liberal wet dream has been translated to the screen.
Yes, I think I understand it. While the real life plots of the Democrats keep becoming toe-stubs (Mary McCarthy and the CIA plot to discredit the President comes on the heels of Sandy Berger's destruction of classified documents and the red herring that is Valerie Plame, not to mention the deafening silence they heard from the voters when they cried "Impeach" and when they cried "Illegal Wiretaps"), Charlize Theron is tougher than James Bond and has more deadpan ironic lines than Ahnold.
In my dreams, Nancy Pelosi tries to kick Governor Arnold's butt and hops away holding her broken foot. In my dreams, Harry Reid tries to girl-slap Dick Cheney, Helen Thomas tries to be a journalist and Teddy Kennedy tries to pretend he has any dignity or relevance...or ever did, for that matter.
Ahh, but I have a movie in me. The Third-Terminator. In it, a Soviet-made Cyborg (played by Hilary Clinton) runs for President and wins with her husband Bill Clinton (played by Hugh Hefner) as running mate. She then takes off her fake face, revealing herself to be a cyborg, and runs away to San Francisco (where anything can marry anything) to marry the last female to sleep with Angelina Jolie. Bill Clinton then becomes a third-term President. Hee-Haw reruns are back in at the White House, along with big cee-gars and starry-eyed interns. We withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan, begin following the Kyoto agreement and cut off diplomatic relations with Israel and Taiwan. The budget deficit is erased by selling all of our defense technology to China. The 22nd amendment is repealed so the beloved Bill can run again in 2012. The Supreme Court is merged with the World Court.
Preconfigured sequels at two-year intervals:
Let Them Have Iraq, Who Wants It?,
Let Them Have Europe, Who Needs It?, and
Learning To Speak Arabic.
Scary, huh? But I'm not afraid. It can't happen to us because skinny chicks or not, Chuck Norris is still around. Jack Bauer is out there somewhere. Plus, those annoying "Flyover Territory" people still know how to vote. Meanwhile, I guess I have to admit I would rather watch Charlize Theron do front kicks for ninety minutes than watch Sly Stallone blasting baddies with a 50 caliber machine gun. What the heck, I'm a guy...So in the best of both worlds liberals lose and make movies starring Jessica Alba instead of Jean Claude van Damme.
"At least it's plausible" I deadpanned. My wife and Dave's friend laughed. Dave attempted to ignore me entirely.
Why are so many Hollywood movies about skinny young actress chicks that beat up the world? I mean, of course everyone wants to look at Jessica Alba and Keira Knightley and Jennifer Garner and so on, but how is it so many of them are kicking butt? It doesn't make sense.
Once we had Rambo and Terminator and Chuck Norris to do our wet work for us. Big, strong tough guys are what is needed to beat up the villians and save the world. Yet in recent years we get Supermodel, not Superman.
Maybe I understand it, though. Hollywood is absolutely dominated with liberals. Some of them make your average Democrat look like Bill Frist in comparison. Barbra Streisand? I think they replaced her brain with that of a Parrot that used to belong to George Soros. Che Guevera isn't just on T-Shirts in this crowd, their wives are in a back room trying to channel him. I think Martin Sheen thought he really WAS President for awhile and had a hard time understanding why we were still in Iraq. Cindy Sheehan. Jane Fonda. Susan Sarandon. Who really cares what THEY think?
So even though recounts proved that Bush won in 2000, these guys are in denial. They have been angry and getting more and more unbalanced ever since. Yet there is nothing they can do about it. George Bush is President until 2008 and unless the Democrats find a message and some common sense and step away from the loony fringe it will be another Republican administration in 2009.
Helpless, Hollywood symbolically fights back. The skinny actress is the Liberal Democrat, apparently impotent but (in the eyes of liberals) beautiful. The big bad bullies are the Republicans led by Bush and all those horrid "Flyover Territory" people who don't know what is good for them and keep voting in more Republicans. Personifying the liberal dream, the skinny actress beats up all the baddies and wins the day! Hurrah! Nancy Pelosi for President!!!
Then they all file out of the screening room, make small talk about who has the most incompetent illegal alien gardener and then filter out to their waiting limosines. The "Skinny Chick" movie is released world-wide, males of all ages shell out the cash to stare at Keira's bod and dig the cool effects, and another liberal wet dream has been translated to the screen.
Yes, I think I understand it. While the real life plots of the Democrats keep becoming toe-stubs (Mary McCarthy and the CIA plot to discredit the President comes on the heels of Sandy Berger's destruction of classified documents and the red herring that is Valerie Plame, not to mention the deafening silence they heard from the voters when they cried "Impeach" and when they cried "Illegal Wiretaps"), Charlize Theron is tougher than James Bond and has more deadpan ironic lines than Ahnold.
In my dreams, Nancy Pelosi tries to kick Governor Arnold's butt and hops away holding her broken foot. In my dreams, Harry Reid tries to girl-slap Dick Cheney, Helen Thomas tries to be a journalist and Teddy Kennedy tries to pretend he has any dignity or relevance...or ever did, for that matter.
Ahh, but I have a movie in me. The Third-Terminator. In it, a Soviet-made Cyborg (played by Hilary Clinton) runs for President and wins with her husband Bill Clinton (played by Hugh Hefner) as running mate. She then takes off her fake face, revealing herself to be a cyborg, and runs away to San Francisco (where anything can marry anything) to marry the last female to sleep with Angelina Jolie. Bill Clinton then becomes a third-term President. Hee-Haw reruns are back in at the White House, along with big cee-gars and starry-eyed interns. We withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan, begin following the Kyoto agreement and cut off diplomatic relations with Israel and Taiwan. The budget deficit is erased by selling all of our defense technology to China. The 22nd amendment is repealed so the beloved Bill can run again in 2012. The Supreme Court is merged with the World Court.
Preconfigured sequels at two-year intervals:
Let Them Have Iraq, Who Wants It?,
Let Them Have Europe, Who Needs It?, and
Learning To Speak Arabic.
Scary, huh? But I'm not afraid. It can't happen to us because skinny chicks or not, Chuck Norris is still around. Jack Bauer is out there somewhere. Plus, those annoying "Flyover Territory" people still know how to vote. Meanwhile, I guess I have to admit I would rather watch Charlize Theron do front kicks for ninety minutes than watch Sly Stallone blasting baddies with a 50 caliber machine gun. What the heck, I'm a guy...So in the best of both worlds liberals lose and make movies starring Jessica Alba instead of Jean Claude van Damme.